AIB Akatsuki in Black
by Akatyuki
Summary: One boring day, the leader of the Akatsuki decides to create an elite, or not so much, alien hunting team. What chaos will ensue?
1. Chapter 1

AIB

Akatsuki in Black

**IMPORTANT**

**This is not plagerism! MacarenaNeji and Bruce n' Charlie have made a joint account and we were moving the story to said account. That is all. Have a nice day.**

Konnichiwa! MacarenaNeji here, I just wanted everyone to know that I was reading the Naruto manga Friday night, and in chapter 346, the latest one, SASUKE KILLED OROCHIMARU!!! It was amazing! This is Bruce n' Charlie (I'll be co-writing this story, but it's gonna be under MacarenaNazi's name not no more though), and Sasuke needs to get a different outfit.

No, I like it! MN

That's because you're stupid. BnC

At least I have a helper monkey!(two actually, and a polar bear) MN

...I only have Hiebie. BnC

We should get on with the story. MN

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The Leader of the Akatsuki was sitting in his office one day, pondering the things akatsuki had been doing lately.

"Hmm, we don't really do anything exciting anymore. Yesterday Kisame-san and Itachi-san went fishing, Deidara-san went arm hunting again, and Zetsu-san grew more plants, and Tobi-_chan_ got a new cowpie, I mean mask. Wow. I think we should do something else for a change. Something totally different. Something exciting."

He turned on the TV. While channel surfing, a movie caught his eye. It was about a guy hunting aliens.

"Hmm, what is this show called? It looks most intriguing."

He flipped to the TV guide channel, (they can't afford digital cable because Sasori spent all their money on finger puppets) and discovered the name of the movie.

"Men in Black? I like that idea, we should totally, like, get that job! ITACHI-SAN! DEIDARA-SAN!"

"What now un? I was just in the middle of looking for more clay on e-bay! …un."

"Itachi, Deidara, I have decided to switch the purpose of this organization to an alien hunting organization. I want you two to go pick out some costumes."

"How about a black suit with a gargantuan neckband and a fan on the back!" Itachi suggested.

"No, the black suit is fine, but lose the neckband and the fan and get laser gun holsters! Un!"

"Hmm, you guys have something going here! Here's twenty bucks, go buy 10 suits, Zetsu needs two to fit his big head, and bring them back here."

So they took the money and left. 20 minutes later they came back.

"Leader-sama, they said that it would cost at least 10000000000 dollars in Konoha, but sand has them on sale for ten bucks each."

"Crap on a stick! Well then, Itachi, I need you to use your sharingan to copy and burn cd's and sell them on e-bay."

So he did, and they had enough money left to get digital cable. Then they went to sand and bought the suits and laser gun holsters.

"Wow, I like this whole uniform thing," the leader said, then he called the rest of the Akatsuki into his office.

"Ok, y'all, decided that we're going to change this organization. We shall call our selves the 'Akatsuki In Black', AIB for short. And notice that I didn't steal this name in any way shape or form. Y'all are gonna go the Cheyenne, Wyoming to get guns, BIG guns."

"Where the heck is that?!" Everyone asked.

"It's on an island in the middle of the ocean."

Zetsu ran and got a map, "No it's not, well maybe it is, I can't see anything."

"I thought I was going blind, not you." Said Itachi.

"You are, but with this plant in my face I can't see worth crap."

Kisame grabbed the map. "It's not in the middle of the ocean, it's right here in the middle of the United States, surrounded by prairies!"

Itachi went and bought a boat off e-bay and the entire AIB got in the boat except for Kisame, he needed to push the boat because it lacked a motor.

"ITACHI!! You're supposed to read the decription before you buy something!"

"But I thought you were going to swim anyways."

"I was!"

"Then what's the problem?"

"…"

"See no problem. To America, Ho!"

While in Cheyenne, Wyoming, the went to… a place. And looked in a window. What they saw shocked them. There were two people playing jutsu tag (which we are gonna go at lunch in half an hour).

Hidan was the first to speak, "Is this what they call a…"

"Dun dun DUN!" Kisame shouted.

"A NARUTARD???!!!" Hidan finished.

The two idiots saw the seven people in black suits and started talking amongst themselves. "Aren't those the people we wrote a fanfiction about?"

"I think so, let's go check." And they walked over to them.

"Hey are you guys the AIB?"

"Gasp!" everyone gasped.

"How did you know this?! We are a secret Japanese organization!"

"Not quite, we're the ones who wrote about you."

"What do you call your selves?"

"To you I am known as 'Bruce n' Charlie-sama.'"

"And I am, 'MacarenaNeji-sama.'" Both Bruce n' Charlie and MacarenaNeji handed out guns, "Now go back to Japan, we need to finish playing JUTSU TAG!" and they ran away.

And that's how the AIB started.

End Chapter


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

We've come back for another chapter!

**IMPORTANT**

**This is not plagerism! MacarenaNeji and Bruce n' Charlie have made a joint account and we were moving the story to said account. That is all. Have a nice day.**

By the way, we don't own Naruto, MIB, or any other random

Things that pop up in the story. Except Calvin, and Frederíco, but he ate all our cheese so we want to get rid of him. So feel free to steal him!

Did you know that if you press 'home' on your keyboard, then you get to the front of your sentence, and the opposite for 'end'?! It's sooooo cooooooool. MacarenaNeji and Bruce n' Charlie are very excited about this new turnout.

"Grrr gaara grrragr!" (Can we just get on with the story!)That happened to be Calvin the polar bear if you didn't figure that out. Who belongs to MacarenaNeji, and not BnC.

"If it's any consolation, I don't want a polar bear, it would cost to much to feed. I'm happy with my choice in skunks."

"Calvin pays for his own food. Hey, is anyone still reading? Ok, we should get on with the story."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

Moments later the AIB arrived back at the hideout, with the BIG guns. And the leader called them all back into his office.

"Now that we have big guns, we need awesome code names."

"TOBI WANTS TO BE 007!!" said Tobi. Everyone completely ignored Tobi and started discussing names.

"I say we take the three middle letters in our names." Hidan suggested. "So I would be Ida."

"Wait!" Leader said. "From the 'Men in Black' movie, they only took the first letter. So we should take the first letter of our names, then put agent in front of it so it's not considered copyright."

"TOBI STILL WANTS TO BE 007!!!"

"Fine! Tobi can be 007 because he's an idiot! Now we can do other names. Itachi is 'Agent I'. Kisame is 'Agent K'. Hidan is 'Agent H'. Zetsu is 'Agent Z'. Sasori is 'Agent S. Kakuzu is 'Agent…' wait, we already 'Agent K. Kakuzu, what do you want to be named?"

"Agent X"

"What does 'X' stand for?"

"Xylophone."

"¿Qué?" Said all the Spanish members, who just happened to be a Spanish Mouse named Frederíco. He does not belong to MacarenaNeji or Bruce n' Charlie, and is put for grabs.

"Alright, back to names, Deidara is 'Agent D'. I am 'Agent Leader'. And when Tobi decides to be normal, he'll be 'Agent T'. Now, Agent I and D, are in charge of uniforms so they are also in charge of gun control. Nobody else gets a job because they're all incontinent, I mean incompetent. Now, Agents I and D, go get everyone their own sunglasses, they can tell you what they want."

So Deidara and Itachi , we use their full names in the hideout, got everyone's requests and got the sunglasses off of e-bay. Everybody wanted normal black glasses except for Tobi, who got gargantuan star shaped sunglasses.

"Ok, in the movie, they had flashy things that erased people's minds… or something. We need flashy things. Go back to Cheyenne, Wyoming to consult MN and BnC." (we are too lazy to type our full names, but not too lazy to type an explanation as to why we abbreviate our names, which is even longer than typing our real names)

So they got back on the boat, which still didn't have a motor, and went to Cheyenne, Wyoming. This time, they looked through the window and saw two people playing with their fingers, alternating between their thumb and pinky fingers, and counting to four.

"What is wrong with these people!" yelled Agent H.

"Shhh! Don't anger the Gods! I mean authors!" said Kisame.

"Same thing," typed MacarenaNeji, "Now, you want flashy things right?"

"Yeah, un." Said Deidara.

"You know, we said yeah and un after every sentence for like, two hours, but threatened with death from a very adamant Deidara fangirl, and had to stop." Bruce n' Charlie typed.

"Here y'all go, flashy things for all but Deidara."

"Why not me un?"

"We are going to let you use your eye." Typed MacarenaNeji.

So Bruce n' Charlie and MacarenaNeji took out there Harry Potter wands and zapped his eye (his mechanical eye) so that there was a flashy thing in there.

"Now," MN and BnC typed, "Go back to your hideout. And don't bother us again."

So they left, and that's how Akatsuki got their names and flashy devices (fancier way to say things).

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0

That's the end of the chapter. If you don't review, we'll continue the story. If you DO review we will… dun dun DUN… continue the story.

MacarenaNeji and Bruce n' Charlie

P.S. We found a website! It's called It directs you to random links!


	3. Chapter 3

AIB, The Epic Chapter 3

AIB, The Epic Chapter 3

MN here, BnC is at work, so I'll be typing this chapter up without her.

Whixh means in this nifty pre-chapter section I can say things about her that normally she'd be upset with!!

BnC is lame and does not have any helper monkeys or a helper Polar Bear which makes MN the supreme ruler of this story and NOT BnC.

We do not own anything in this story :D

00oo00oo00oo00oo00oo00oo

"Ooh, me likey the flashy."

Deidara was busy playing with his flashy thingy in the Akatsuki (er.. AIB) hideout, when all of the sudden, Tobi ran in screaming.

"DEIDARA-SENPAI, DEIDARA-SENPAI!!"

Unfortunately, due to an unfortunate turn of events, Tobi ran in right as Deidara pressed the buton that unleashed the flashiness. With no explanation at all, Tobi flew backwards.

"Whoa.. What did I come in here for?" Tobi asked himself, "Oh well, it's probably nothing important."

BUT! It was in fact VERY important. He had gone in to tell Deidara that his bed was on fire. (Of course, this was only through fault of Tobi) No one realized this until there was nothing left of the bed but smoldering ash. And it was a very nice bed.

While everyone was observing the big dust pile that remained of the bed, Zetsu became quite thirsty. He went out to get a Dr Pepper, but by the time he came back, everyone had gotten over the loss, and were now staring at him.

"ALIEN!!" Agent H screamed, as everybody whipped out their flashy things.

"NO! You idiots!" Agent leader screamed in frustration, "Get out the big guns!"

So they did.

"Holy sharkbait you guys! It's me Zetsu! You know, the notorious agent Z??"

Suddenly, something clicked in the Akatsuki brains, and they all realized that is was, in fact, merely Zetsu.

They were just getting over the fact, when Agent leader once again cried out, "ALIEN!" this time pointing at Kisame.

And the long enduring process began all over again.

After they had successfully determined that Kisame was NOT an alien, they decided to have a discussion on who to get next.

"I say," said Agent Leader, "That those Jinchuuriki have got to be aliens. I mean, who else can possibly turn into a fox or a badger that you know of? Gaara and Naruto will be the first we go after"

"But which of those two will we go after first?" Agent I asked.

Agent leader looked puzzled, as though he had sen the wrath of a flashy thingy. He had not thought of that yet. They could split up, but they were most powerful when they were all together. Another way of deciding would be that the "G" in Gaara, comes before the "N" of Naruto. But then again,. The "K" in Kyuubi comes before the "S" in Shukaku. There was only one way to decide this. Pulling a coin out of his pocket, the Leader spoke. "Agent Z, Agent Tobi! Come here. Agent Z, heads or tails. Heads is the Sukaku, tails is Kyuubi."

"Tails," Zetsu decided, as the leader flipped the coin. It landed on heads.

"I demand a recount!!" Everyone turned to look at Sasori, "I… don't want to go after the Shusaku….. He's……. Scary…."

The leader shrugged. "Best two out of three." And he flipped the coin again. I t landed on heads.

"RECOUNT!"

"Alright… best five out of nine." And he flipped it, again, and again, and again. Each time it landed on heads.

"Give me that!" Sasori yelled, infuriated. He grabbed the coin and examined it before stomping over to Kakuzu. "Here's that dumb double-sided penny you were looking for."

The akatsuki all shared a moment of understanding. Kakuzu took the coin and glared at the leader, who looked away guiltfully.

"Does anyone have a quarter?" He asked.

"OH! I DO I DO!" Tobi yelled.

"Good! Give it to me!" Agent leader flipped it. The second seemed to take hours. He extended his arm to catch it. The coin fell, he reached, the coin fell, he reached. And just as it seemed that the coin and his hand were about to make contact, the coin slipped through his fingers, and rolled out the door.

"NUUUU!! SOMEBODY GET IT!" But it was too late. They all looked at it just in time to see it roll into the gutter.

"Great… Does anyone else have any change?"

"Oh! Oh! I have a dollar!" Agent D yelled.

"No, no… It needs to be a coin."

No one had any.

"Oh fine. We'll just go after Naruto first."

So they did. Except, they had forgotten how to get to Konoha.

"Great," said agent Z, "Where are MacarenaNeji and Bruce n' Charlie when you need 'em??"

Then, (DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNN!!) A pillar of light appeared, and MN and BnC drove up in a Ferrari. (A/N Hey, its fanfiction XD)

"You doofuses forgot how to get to Konoha??" MN asked, (well, screamed)

"We can't help it!" Agent leader screamed back, "You wrote it that way!"

"You've got a point."

"To get to Konoha," BnC said matter-of-factly, "You apparate!" And she pointed her wand, (which she had stolen from british guy with a weird lightning scar) and POP they were gone.

"That worked well," MN said.

"I think so, yes."

"Did you really send them to Konoha?" MN asked as they hopped back in the Ferrari.

"I'm not really sure….. It's difficult to apparate people when you're not with them," BnC shrugged.

"Well… Wherever they are, they can't cause too much trouble right?" The two 'Gods' looked at each other before cracking up.

"Why would we write it like that?" BnC scoffed.

"Yeah, you're right."

"Of course I'm right. I have to be right SOMETIMES you know." And off the car went.

RING RING

"Is that your phone?" MN asked.

"Yup. Hello?"

"WHERE ARE WE?!" Agent Leader screamed into the phone.

"I thought you were in Konoha?" BnC said confoundedly, while MN rolled her eyes.

"I'm not gonna say 'I told you so'"

"Hold on," BnC said into the phone, "You just said it! Anyway, well, I don't know where you are, but have fun!" And she hung up.

"You idiot!" Yelled MN.

"I don't see you trying to fix it!!"

"Then the story wouldn't be interesting!"

"I wonder where they are….."

They were, in fact, in the land of Aliens.

DUN DUN DUUUUUNNNNN!!

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Hello! MN here, just letting you know we're not dead! Haha. It's been a while since we last updated, but hopefully we'll get more posted soon. Reviews would definitely be appreciated! Please let us know how we can make our stories better.

Hope you enjoy the story!

MacarenaNeji

(Akatyuki)


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